Stukje frustratie

Goed, het onderstaande komt uit een mail waarin ik mijn frustratie van het afgelopen uur even wilde delen.

Toen bedacht ik dat ik het ook wel even met jullie wilde delen, gezien het redelijk mijn 'problemen' met deze faculteit verwoordt, al is het natuurlijk een tijdelijke uitbarsting en slaat het spreekwoordelijk op Kaas.

Ik had net een afspraak met de docente die onze lessen overgenomen heeft nadat onze professor ons, onaangekondigd, verliet. Tijdens de afspraak besproken wij mijn laatste essay, dat ik als draft bij haar had ingeleverd. (dat essay waar mijn vorige post ook al over ging) Ik ben er zelf helemaal niet tevreden over, maar toch is het vervelend te horen dat er je toch nog wel 3 dagen aan moet zitten. Hence, frustratie:

Ik ben n beetje klaar met al dat universitair gezeik van dingen onderbouwen en verwijzen en blablabla. Maar goed dat ik niet nog een HELE SCRIPTIE moet schrijven...

en om het even helemaal BELACHELIJK te maken ging ze me vragen of ik wel de religie defenitie van Geertz zou willen gebruiken, omdat daarin staat dat religie iets is dat omkleed is met 'such an aura of factuality' dat het 'uniquely realistic' lijkt. Ze vroeg of ik me daarmee wel wilde associeren, zo'n definitie, want veel gelovige mensen zouden het daar mee oneens zouden zijn ofzo, ze vond het een beetje controversieel.

DAT is de definitie die IEDERE zichzelf respecterende social scientist gebruikt om religie te definieren. Geertz is een KONING en het leek gewoon alsof zij hem niet kende, en ik moet een stukje van de definitie uitleggen in mn essay omdat zij niet wist wat ik ermee bedoelde. WAT!?

GEERTZ!

omg...

Dus toen ze dat vroeg (of ik me daarmee wel wilde associeren) keek ik haar heel serieus aan en zei: Yes.

sja...misschien had ik een punt moeten maken en op mn stoel moeten gaan staan en een gigantisch verhaal moeten houden over hoe belachelijk theologisch deze faculteit is en dat ik zeker niet mijn essay ga 'censureren' door Geertz eruit te halen. Be-la-che-lijk.

Meh

The title of this blog can be interpreted in many different ways.

'Meh' accompanied by some serious shoulder-shrugging can be understood as an expression of ultimate disinterest, boredom, or even outright desperation.

An elongated 'Meh' combined by the mental image of sheep is better understood as a, as many a postcard in this country will tell you, Scottish Traffic Jam.

In whichever way you want to interpret the concept of 'Meh', it expresses exactly the way I feel right now. Downright disinterested, bored, desperate livestock.

I HAVE to finnish my essay (yes I am even resorting to the use of capitals ánd am throwing in accidental eastern europeans).
But I don't FEEL like doing it. Nor am I convinced of the point I'm making and am thus not capable of putting the words into any plausable order to make it.

That combined with a strong force within me to read Harry Potter and that whole swine flu thing (funny how it's okay when it's on a different continent and not so funny when it's around the corner keeping a newlywed couple in hospital), I'm not really motivated.
BUT, I WILL finish the thing tomorrow. I promise(d myself).

Meanwhile, read the beautiful story in the post below (no you haven't seen it, yes even if the date says last Saturday, I only posted it today, as yet another attempt to forget about my essay) I love it. I want to publish it. (Karen's doing the illustrations) Although I don't want it to be frowned on by Christians. If only because it's just cool. (See, usually I'm capable of forming an argument, not today, noooo not today)

But actually, life is good. Only three weeks till Suriname. (would you help me in asking the Cosmos to keep the swine flu away from there?) It's just those very last study straws that are breaking this camels' back. (Camel, sheep, sperm whale, whatever)

Maybe I should just go to sleep.

F.Y.I. I've not been drinking or anything, I've just been listening to Nakariakov for too long. It makes me jumpy and ridiculus. Classical music can do that to a person. (Camel, sheep, whale, whatever)

Genesis

A couple of days ago I came across the blog of a former co-student of mine from Leiden. Last March he had written a post especially for International Women's day. For the occasion he had rewritten Genesis. I was impressed. I asked him if I could translate it into english and post it on here, and voilà, here it is. It looks long, I know, but bear with me, you'll be happy you read it.

See it as an early Beltane present :) May Love, Light and Prosperity be upon you.


EVE

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was waste and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep: and the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

And God said, 'Let there be light'. And there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good. And God called the light Day, and the darkness was called Night. Then the first day was at an end. God was tired and went to sleep.

The following day God created the heaven and the sea, the mountains and the rivers, the beach and the forrests. And God got excited, and created the fjords, the canyons, and the barren deserts. And God saw that it was good.

On the third day, God got up and looked at all the beautiful things. They were still a bit empty. And God created the fish in the sea, the birds in the trees, and the little creepy crawlies in the sand. And God saw that it was good.

Gods creating skills improved so God created the horses and the elephants, the sabertooth tigers and the dinoaurs, the armadillos and the tapirs. And to crown it all God created the sperm whales. And God was tired but satisfied, and the fourth day was over.

But on the fifth day God felt a bit lonely. God wanted someone to talk to, a friend. And God created man, and called him Adam. And the fifth day was over, and God went to sleep only after saying 'Good night' to Adam. And God thought that it was good.

Adam watched his reflection in the water. He was quite pleased with himself. He had a nice full beard, white teeth, clean nails, and muscled arms and legs. 'I am so beautiful,' thought Adam, 'I must look like God. God has created me in His own image'

And Adam walked around, and he saw the creepy crawlies in the sand, the birds in the trees. He saw the sabertooth tiger and the armadillo. 'I am like God,' Adam said, 'but you are not, because I can talk, and you can't. That means you have to obey me. I am the perfection of Creation.' And Adam was very pleased with himself.

Then he felt something under his foot. It was a little crawly animal, but now it was dead, because Adam had stood on it. Adam got cross. 'Why are you in my way!' he barked. 'Now you have soiled my foot, created in Gods own image! Now your dirty little black corpse is on my sole!' And Adam went to the river to wash himself.

When he arrived at the river he saw a fish. He grabbed the fish with his hand. 'What are you doing in my river?' Adam asked. 'This is my river, God promised me this river. He also promised me the land. So all animals must obey me.' He ate the fish. And all animals were scared.

God called for Adam. 'Adam, I want to talk to you, you don't understand!' But Adam didn't hear the call, because Adam was too busy bossing around all the animals. God was sad. God had created someone to talk to, but felt lonelier now than ever before. 'I've made a mistake,' God thought. 'I have given man the gifts of speech and thought, but I did not give him the ability to listen nor to love. How do I make up for this?'

God thought. 'What if I make a second human... one that can love and listen, and can teach Adam how to do that?' And God created the second human, and God called her Eve. She was even more beautiful than the first one.

Adam saw Eve. She was beautiful beyond words. Adam went to her. 'I am Adam,' he said, 'and you have to obey me, because I was created in God's own image.' Eve looked at him. She smiled. 'It's okay,' she said. 'Go to sleep. The sixth day is almost over. Now it is time to rest.'

Adam didn't understand what she meant. Her smile scared him. Who was this? 'Who are you?' he asked.

'I am Eve,' said Eve. 'I would like to be your friend. I would like to hear your stories, if you'll listen to mine.' Adam didn't know what to say. She was stunning. Her eyes seemed to look straight through him. Her hair was long, and her body was so round and so much more beautiful than his. All of a sudden he was ashamed of his own scrawny and square body and of the hair on his face and his chest. For the first time in his existence he felt ugly.

'Go away!' cried Adam. 'I don't want to see you, I want nothing to do with you!' That was a lie. He wanted nothing more than to be with her, look at her, and touch her strange body. But he was afraid to say so. 'Go away!' He cried angrily. Eve was scared, and ran away. She cried. Why wouldn't he listen to her stories? Why did he scare her so?

God called them, but was not heard. Adam and Eve were too involved with themselves and eachother, they were no longer able to hear God.

'How can this be?' thought Adam, 'She looks just like me, but still she is so different. We both have two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. We both have ten fingers and ten toes, we both have a bellybutton. We speak the same language but still we cannot understand eachother. Why will she not accept my autority? Why is she more beautiful than me!?'

He went to her. She had stopped crying. She had gotten hungry and had taken a piece of fruit from one of the trees. It was delicious. Seeing how much she enjoyed this foreign fruit infuriated Adam. How could she take pleasure from something he didn't know? Why hadn't she first asked permission to eat from that tree?

'Why didn't you ask me if you could eat from that tree?' cried Adam. 'That is not just any tree, that is a sacred tree! The fruit is forbidden to eat, God has told me that in person!' Eva jumped. She didn't know that. But how could something that tasted so good, that was sweet and sour and thirst-quenching, be forbidden? Didn't God allow them the good of Creation?

'Now God will always be angry with us,' Adam spoke with a strict voice. 'With us, and with all future generations. And that is your fault. From now on you must obey me, so you cannot commit a sin again. From now on you are my posession. If you refuse I will kill you, like you were a creepy crawly. If you follow me, I will be good to you. Whichever way, we have to flee, away from the tree of God, because God does not want to see us anymore.'

Eve was scared. She did not want to die. He looked dangerous, and strong. She did not want to fight. She wanted to know him, she wanted to see what was hidden behind those cold eyes. Maybe, if she followed him she would be able to teach him, little by little, to listen, and to love.

'Alright, I'll go with you,' she said. And Adam and Eve left the place where they had met, and fled. They ran from an angry God that they were imagining.

And God saw how Her children ran away, and cried silently. But God knew that parents must learn to let their children go, and that sometimes they cannot hear their parents voices. And God knew that they were not perfect, but She hoped they would learn to understand each other, learn to love, and that they would not hurt each other too much.

And Adam told his children the story of the sacred tree, and of Eve's guilt, and of the angry God. Eve averted her eyes, and said nothing.

And the children related the story of the tree and the fruit to their children, who then told their children, who told their children thereafter. And none knew how it really had occured.

This story was originally written by Aike Rots, in Dutch. http://aikerots.blogspot.com/2009/03/eva.html

Dundee and Arbroath

After those texty-posts I'll give you guys some pictures to stare at again :)

Two weeks ago Caro, Karin, Meri and I went on a little day-trip to Dundee and Arbroath. Dundee was a sweet little boring town, with a couple of churches we wanted to see. Strangely all of the churches were closed....ánd most of the kebab stores we wanted to visit were also :)

From Dundee we took a trainride right along the coastline to Arbroath. The weather was beautiful (very different from what the forecast said...hence the Wellies) if not extremely windy...ah whatever, most pictures are nice and 'dynamic' because of it.

Try finding a street in Dundee without penguins ór closed churches...impossible.

Arbroath was simply astounding. The century-old Abbey ruin that dominates the tiny sea-side town is huge and impressing. For those of you with historic interest, try Wiki-ing: Arbroath Abbey and The Declaration of Arbroath.

Me and the huge Abbey Church ruin.

"..for, as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under English rule. It is in truth not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom – for that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself."

The dude that wrote the Declaration of Arbroath is gifted...he should've worked on Braveheart. :P

North-easter coastline of Scotland. I really want to go to the red sandstone cliffs in the background some time. Those are also the cliffs the Abby is made out of.

Chillin' in the sun

More pics from our trip:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=71940&id=565292619&l=30fe5a0ccf

Moment of Enlightenment

Just to share with you a small part of the wonders I sometimes have to read for my classes. I read this while the last 2,5 minutes of Coldplay - Fix You was playing in the background.

Murray Rogers, Anglican priest who has spent over forty years in Asia and the Middle East, on those he encountered of a different faith:

"I gladly share, without fear of disloyalty to Christ, their treasures of experience, their perceptions of the Mystery, their ways of breathing the Reality beyond all name and form. 'I' and 'they' have almost disappeared and in their place it is 'we'. No longer am I driven to fight crusades to bring 'them' over to 'my' side, as if Christ were on 'my' side. Fanaticism, including Christian fanaticism, is seen to be what in fact it always is, an appalling insult to the Divine Mystery lying beyond and within creation."

Strengthening your faith

"Will this world SURVIVE?"

it says, on the front of the little flyer the lady's hand is holding out to me.
I am walking home from class with a big bag of groceries and I see a lady walking towards me on the sidewalk. Just a normal, friendly looking lady with a bit of an eccentric coat on. When she is within 2 metres range of me she magically conjures a flyer out of nothing and stands still next to me. I yank my iPod out of my ears and listen to her.

I do that. My mom calls me when she sees 'religious' people walking up to our front door. "Selmaaaa, you take them." I enjoy talking to them. Or letting them talk to me. I don't know why. I'm interested. Not in becoming a Mormon/Jehovas witness/Hare Krishna/whatever, but in why they are.
Just before this encounter with the lady in the street we had talked about the 'strengtening of your faith' in class. Public displays of faith are not primarily to prove something to others or to convince someone else of your beliefs. Their primary function is to strengthen you own faith. New (voluntary!) women converts to Islam need some time to come to terms with their own religiosity. Wearing hijab (a headscarf)in public for the first time needs conviction. It means showing the world that you are a muslim. You are muslim. You remind yourself of that.

The same can be said of those that go from door to door or dance and sing in the streets. We usually think they are doing it to gain converts. And at one point you might think: "Don't they get tired of it? Probably no one ever says, Yeah sure I'll become a Mormon tomorrow".
But that's not the primary point. The simple activity of going out and telling others what you believe makes you aware of your own religiosity. It strengthens your faith. You think about what you believe, about God and the world and about how you think you could make it a better place. Or at least about how it has made the world a better place for you. Why not listen to them, let them speak? As long as the message is about love and peace, why not?

She smiles at me, the lady with the eccentric coat. I take the flyer from her and say "Thank you".

"Don't worry', she says,'The front sounds a bit ominous, but it has a good ending"

And for her it does.

Scotland map

As I just came back from Holland with a massive cold, resulting in stabbing pain in my ears during the flight and fear of permanent damage (since I still can't hear much)I have decided I'm ill until further notice.
Obviously I had enough of lying in my bed after one day, so today map-making has made it's entry: Hurrah!
The little gadget posted below is just to show you where I've been doing the things I've been blogging about and to recommend nice places to visit, eat, sleep etc. It's still a work in progress, so not all of what I want to show you is tagged yet (especially nog in Glasgow city) I'm also working on putting in pictures of the different places. Have fun looking at my world :)


Grotere kaart weergeven